Build healthy relationships with uplifting peopleJun 28, 2021
"As much as it is important to spend some time alone to recharge, it is equally important to have a circle of people who can inspire and uplift us."
Some ways to get inspired is reading a book, listening to a motivational talk, exercising or simply going for a walk. Recent research shows that mild to moderate activities can help us tap into our inner wisdom and enable our brain to make links in ways that can help us grow and develop. As much as it is important to spend some time reflecting alone and recharging, it is equally important to have a circle of people who can inspire and uplift us. It could be from 2 up to 10 people with who you can share and exchange ideas, feelings, knowledge, and dreams.
I have personally experienced the magnificent impact of such circle. Together we started projects, shared knowledge and came up with new ideas, encouraged each other to pursue our dreams, engaged in fun activities, or just gave each other a hug when needed. That was when I knew that inspiration and power can come from the people who surround us. It is the network that you build and keep of people who could be your safety net against life’s challenges and setbacks.
So how can you build and expand your circle of inspiration?
Building inspiring, brilliant, and fascinating relationships is about knowing that together you can create some kind of value for each other. It requires being genuine and authentic, or in other words being yourself. It also requires being interested in the other person and showing interest in their ideas or what they do and who they are. So how can you show interest, unless you seek to sincerely understand the other person and build a constructive rapport with them about their views, ideas, work, or dreams. It also means that you will be openly sharing yours.
What underlies a relationship is reciprocity; it is two way – you and another person. It could be your significant other, your loved ones, your children, friends, family, your boss and colleagues, or people with similar interest that you meet in workshops/conferences/study groups, etc...
First you need to know that however close you are or how much you value and love each other, you are two separate individuals. Each one of you has a unique set of past and present experiences, emotions, thoughts, and behaviours. Building a relationship means that even if you disagree with or dislike a certain perspective or action, you are still willing to accept the other person.
If you think that you can go into a relationship and change the other person’s behaviour, thoughts, or attitudes, I can tell you from my experience that it may not be easy, or even possible. Instead, you need to flip it around and think about changing your own.
Your feelings during a conversation can be a good indication about whether you are in the right relationship. During the dialogue check on how you feel about their views, how they show up, how they treat you, how they make you feel. Then think how can you change your feeling if it is negative? Check in on your mood? It might be worth asking and understanding more, maybe they are going through a tough time. If the communication is clear and you are sure about your feelings, then it might be worth examining the viability of the relationship or its terms.
Be kind to yourself and to others when building a relationship. Give it the time, work, and patience to grow it into an honest, fulfilling, and satisfying relationship. But also have the courage to compassionately admit it when things are not working, ending a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean being harsh or rude with the other person.
Now let’s talk about your contribution to others around you, to your circle of family and friends. Are you a source of inspiration for them? What can you do together to become so? Your listening heart, your words of wisdom, your presence, your support, your stories? - What impact can you make in their life? Your contribution to their: knowledge and experience, health, emotional wellbeing? – How do you show up in their life? Excited, happy, anxious, friendly, bossy, powerful, assertive? Remember it goes both ways, so radiate some of your inspiration before getting ready to receive some.
May you have an inspiring life and an ever expanding circle of inspiring people.
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