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Do you have the answers to your child's questions?

Jul 01, 2021
By Ayah Sarhan – Certified Parent Effectiveness Training (PET) Instructor & Coach

'As mothers we think we should have all answers to whatever questions our kids ask. Is it true that mothers know best? So what if you don't, what can you do?'

A mother was sharing a story about how her daughter cornered her by asking about something she didn’t have an answer for.  She said “I can’t simply say ‘I don’t know’.  I am the mother I should know; I should have answers to all her questions”.

But why do we as mothers have to? We take responsibility for answering our kids and giving advice and solutions.  We simply act as gods – an authority figure at home, but is this really our role?

We want to rescue our kids from all suffering, heart break, and pain.  We want them to have a happier and safer life, so we hand them our wisdom, the learnings we got out of our experience in life.

We think for them assuming that they will face the same situations.  We take away their right personal responsibility for living their own experience and learning.

I am not saying we don’t have a role in teaching or advising, but I am challenging the conviction we have about “having to” spoon feed our children.

I personally face that challenge with my children.  I share my stories and life experience.  I try to teach and advise them when they want to and if I have knowledge about what they are asking for.  But if I don’t, I share this and think with them in search for answers. 

So the next time your kids ask you about something you don’t know, shift your feelings.  Instead of being anxious about not knowing, consider it as an opportunity to get involved together in searching for answers, discussing the issue and learning about it.

You will be modelling that it’s never too late to learn about news things and developing. And most importantly you would relieve yourself from the burden of having to know it all.

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