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8 steps to connect even if you have a busy life

Jul 05, 2021

Do you spend enough time with your kids? How much is enough time really enough?  We get to have an excuse to spend time with them for the first year or two, but after that how do we manage to create time to connect.

Tiny actions that take a few minutes could make us feel great and would stay in our kids' memories forever.

You can spend just a few minutes with your kids to connect with them.  So let's define connection time. Most mothers are busy doing things on the "to do" list for their kids while they are with them. They think this is time with the kids.  They would take the kids on an outing where they spend their time talking with their friends. This is not connection time.

Connection time is when you are free from any pressures and in a state of mind that is attentive and focused with your kids.  You are not just sitting there physically, but wholeheartedly with all your senses, your mind, and your heart. There is a famous quote: "Your children need your presence not your presents".

This is the time when you look into their eyes and enjoy being with them; seeing what they see, thinking about what they are saying, understanding how they feel, and truly engaging with them.

It is when you put your heart and soul that they can start connecting with you. It makes them feel secure and safe.  They feel they belong and that they are worthy of their mother's attention. They feel loved.

I understand that this could be a challenge for some mothers.  A common statement I hear at the beginning of every parenting class I give is "I feel overwhelmed and need an extra 24-hour every day".  We all have this 24-hour challenge and here are some tips on winning it and creating time to connect:

1- Remember that there is a whole week, which is 7-days, each with 24-hours. That is a lot of time (168 hours to be more specific). So if you spend just one hour that would make a total of 7 hours per week and would leave you with 161 hours.

2- There will be always something to do, so take a second to decide if what you are about to do is really urgent or it can be delayed.  Kids grow quickly and missed time can't be made up for, but you can always catch on the many other things later.

3- Ask yourself, can you give one of the items to someone else.  This will release the burden and will give you time, and the other person will feel good being able to help you out.

4- Find shortcuts; you don't have to go through the whole steps of a certain process as long as you will get the same (or even a similar) result.  Get the job done; it does not have to be perfect.

5- Go easy on yourself:  Even when things mess up, and it's alright if it does, it does not mean that you are not good enough.  Turn it around and assure yourself with what you learnt from what happened and keep on going. We learn and grow from our mistakes; that does not make us incompetent.

6-Ask your kids for help.  They will be happy to jump in and help you.  They may actually show you a fun way to do things, so keep your eyes, ears, and heart open for some new learning.

7- Smile, breath, and take it one step at a time.  You are blessed with that little miracle creature that has come through you.  You have made it through the 9 months of pregnancy, through birth, up until now.

8- Assure yourself that you are enough, that you have abundant love to give and receive, and abundant appreciation to give and receive.

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